Wow!
Not only is a new year upon us, but a new decade. I never knew a span of ten years could pass by so quickly. But somehow it has!
When the new year rolls around, I truly enjoy reflecting on the last 365 days. When you stop to think, it’s hard to believe how much is jam packed into one year. From the mundane day to day, to life altering events. Whether good or bad, up or down, there are always lessons to be learned at every turn.
My 2019 threw me for a friggen loop. Right before the new year, last year, we found out we were expecting our (unexpected) third little. With our second being only nine months old at the time, I can’t really explain how I felt except overwhelmed. Now I don’t want to confuse that with being ungrateful, because I know how hard it can be to even get pregnant (we’ve experienced a couple losses, so trust me, I know). But what about all of the plans we had for this year? And how in the world was I going to handle three kids under three? With absolutely zero family nearby? HOW?
Upon our unexpected (yet still SO exciting) news, we spent the first half of the year debating whether we should make the move to the suburbs, searching for a house, buying/selling, and actually moving. All the while celebrating a first birthday, finishing our first year of preschool, saying goodbye to our amazing neighbors/friends, and oh, being very pregnant.
But if I thought the first half of the year was busy, I was hit with complete chaos mid-August with the arrival of our sweet little Cami. If I’m being honest, I thought two littles was manageable. Yes, I was still outnumbered but with some strategic planning I started to feel like “I got this.” But three kiddos? That was the game changer for me. Three kids, three and under, has been hard. More so mentally than anything else. And although I love my babies more than life itself, they have tested my patience in ways I’ve never experienced. In my kid-less past when I heard people say something similar I never really understood them. And I don’t really think you can understand until you have your own littles. But now…I get it 🥴
So looking back on this year, what have I learned? Aside from a whole lot, I’ve taken away two basic concepts. One is a saying my mom told me when I was very young and have taken with me as I’ve walked through life: God will never give you anything you can’t handle. This simple quote has gotten me through some tough times, including moments this year when I just wanted to crawl into a hole. And second: God has a bigger (and better) plan for me than I have for myself. And this has never been more apparent to me than in 2019. Because when I wanted to go one way, God brought me right back to where I was supposed to be. With my littles, our family, creating a life I genuinely love. And although these years can be difficult at times and days roll into nights and back again, I know wholeheartedly that being a mom to my three babies is what I’m meant to do. And another ten years from now we’ll be in a completely different phase of life. Where I’ll most likely be reading over this post wishing I could go back for even one more day of baby snuggles, wrangling up our wild middle child, and goofy conversations with our (newly turned) four year old. Oh, the irony of life.
I know this is the time of New Years resolutions, but those have never really been my thing. They usually get lost in between the hustle of life, forgotten within the first few months of the year. So for the past several years I’ve focused on one simple thing: being a better version of myself than the day before. This hasn’t always been easy for me, and there have been times where I’ve taken several steps backwards. But with so many life changes the past few years, particularly turning all of my attention to little humans, it has definitely been something I’ve had to consciously focus on. But that’s life, right? A constant journey of improvement, working towards a better version of yourself. In a world of constant comparison and highlight reels (ahem, social media), this has never been more important to me.
To family and friends who have followed along on my journey, both in the kitchen and personal life, I thank you for the support you’ve (most likely unknowingly) shown me. 2020 is bound to be an epic year, full of adventure and memories to be made with my little family. And I can’t wait to see where it takes us all.
Cheers and Happy New Year!
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